oops!!

WOW!! It has been quite a while since I last posted but I have been super busy. (obviously!!) SO I finished my summer class, went for a mini vacation to see my FAVORITE sister in law and had my kiddies birthday party! And I got a new to me car!!!!!!! So excited about it! I can't believe this summer is almost over!! In a little less than 2 weeks my little munchkin starts school and of course I start back to school as well. With that starts another year of ballet and this year the little man starts his FIRST season of soccer!!! While I am sad to see the summer go and our weekly beach trips I am so excited for all the Fall fun!

Just like you Mommy!!!

So on a day out to run errands the kiddos and I headed all over town. Caitlin is the Dj and she for the most part determines our playlist. But for some reason totally unbelieveable to me I was able to use my random shuffle on my iPhone. Then it happened... A Matt Maher song called "Your Grace is Enough" came on. Now this is one of my favorite songs, I listen to it a lot while cleaing house and we sing it in church often. Caitlin was singing the song word for word (not uncommon) and she said Mommy I like hearing this song in big church with you (on some occasions at our church we have family services where the kids join their parents in the sanctuary). I looked in my rear view mirror and Caitlin was singing the song with both her hands raised in the air. My 4 year old was in total surrender! When Caitlin caught me watching her she said Mommy I raise my hands just like you, I am lifting up high to the sky! I was... well there aren't even words to describe how I felt. It was just ...... well you get it!
My girl, my little girl in total surrender, and worship and she learned it from me. I have not arrived to a place in my life where I can grow no more but this was a sign to me that I am on the right path!

It's a lonely life here in sicksville!!!

So since the last time i wrote I have been... SICK SICK SICK!!!! I just can't seem to get well, just when I thought it was over KAPOW! Hit again! Here's the skinny:
The first Sunday in June our Missions trip group had a "shot" party. Passport health came to the church to take care of all of our shots that needed to be taken care of before we took the trip to El Salvador. I had to get two shots Polio and Typhoid. So I get my shots, no crying fussing and I didn't even bleed! But later that day my arms HURT! I took Motrin just to help with the inflammation and before bed I took 2 Tylenol, sometimes fevers can be a part of vaccines. And then it hit me, the next day man I felt like I got hit by a school bus! I was wiped, no energy, no appetite and just all around not feeling good. But whatever it's a shot and they can do that. The Hubs went out of town  to a funeral to support his best friend and took handsome with him and while I missed my boys, I was happy to only have the girls to care for. In case you didn't know I watch my niece and also a little girl I have had since she was three months old, she's 2 now and such a sweetie! But anyways I wasn't getting better and by Thursday I decided I needed to see my  Dr. because this was going on for too long. At this point I had fevers, a really bad deep respiratory cough and just all around general not feeling good. So my doctor did a test for strep throat, the flu and bloodwork to check or something bacterial. I did not have the flu or strep throat, but I did have a bacterial infection. Because the typhoid vaccine was such a doozy for my immune system it left some other areas suseptible to yukiness and while under normal conditions my body would have fought it off and I would be none the wiser, my immune system was busy with a bigger bug and so an infection I got. Dr Robertson put me on antibiotics, a cough syrup with codein, Mucinex, Tylenol and albuterol breathing treatments. I was a walking drug factory. She then called me a few days later to check up on me and I was not any better, in fact since Friday I hadn't been out of bed so she called in a Zpack and gave me a warning. She knew I had planned on going to El Salvador, but what she also knew was my body was fighting, hard and with the antibiotics in my system not only was it killing the bad bacteria but it was also killing the good bacteria as well. By the time I got off the antibiotics I would not have enough time to build my immune system up before leaving for El Salvador. She recommended for my own health that I not go on the trip and take the time to get my body back it tip top shape. While it's easy to type the words the decision was not an easy one to make, I did regretfully cancel and while I am heartbroken I know I couldn't complete the mission in the condition I'm in. So I spent a few days mourning my loss and by Thursday I was thinking I might be getting back to my usual self and on Friday I was just sick of being sick! Saturday morning on the other hand was a whole other animal! I woke up feeling like that first Monday after the shots tired, weak and aching all over. Oh No NOT AGAIN!!!!! I pushed through my day thinking this is just a stage of sickness. We spent the day with my sister and her boyfriend as well as my parents and of course all the babies! It was a fun day. When Jeb got home the fun for me was over, I was going thru several coughing spells and eventually after coughing up  (sorry) a lot of blood and throwing up from coughing up the blood the Hubs took me to the emergency room. We then found out I have pneumonia! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now I'm on another antibiotic, a different cough syrup (not a liquid thank GOD!) and a stronger inhaler. My first concern was if I was contagious which I am not but I do have to take it easy and aviod extreme temperatures. Stinks! It's summer time I waanna be outside playing in the sun with my kiddos but for now I have to watch from the window. I have learned a lot from this little Mission trip to sicksville:
1. I don't ever want to be here again!!!
2. There is nothing good on Tv in the middle of the day!
3. I learned the true and unselfless love and support of my brother in law Barod! He took care of me when there was no one else around to do it, he cared for my children and made sure that I could rest. Without him I know I would be much worse off today.
4. My sister Melissa while not a big ball of emotions was REALLY worried about me. She was generally concerned for my well being and made sure that my other responsibilities were taken care of so that I could rest.
While this was all happening to me there were 2 people that cared for everything else. My sister and her boyfriend Barod. I am genuinely and eternally grateful for everything they did for me, they cared for me when I was too weak to care for myself and that is what LOVE is.
So, thank you God for these 2 amazing people and thank you for letting me experience their unconditional love! I am truly blessed to have the 2 of them in my life.

My BIG muscle..... It has memory????

Ok so first of all I have a confession to make!! I LOVE SCHOOL!!! I know almost 30 and it took me this long to feel that way. Oh well, better late than never, right? Over the summer I decided, well actaully I have to take a science class so I can graduate with my Associates next summer. Biology 101, Fundamentals of Biology not one of my hardest classes but a doozy just the same and I am taking it in 8 weeks instead of 15!!! I know I must be crazy is what you are thinking!! But whatever, I am smart, and I am devoted to my current mission of school so onward I charge! And then yesterday IT HAPPENED!!!! We are in week 2, have just now completed 4 chapters! WOWZA!!! Concepts are whizzing past me, smacking me in the face sometimes I get them and sometimes... well I have to study. But yesterday was a day unlike any other day! I knew everything BEFORE my professor said it!!!! We are studying cells of plants and animals, this is my kind of science. And he is going over the parts of the cell, so he posts the first power point presentation slide, "the brain of a cell" and my brain said The Nucleus, my brain was right !! Oh don't get too excited; wait there's more! Than he moves onto the Endomembrane System and my brain says Endoplasmic Reticulum, Golgi Apparatus, Lysosomes and Vacuoles! Um excuse me are you impressed yet? Cuz I am and this is my brain!!!!! I learned this stuff in SEVENTH grade!!! Seriously! After the pregnancy Mommy brain where I forgot everything under the sun to just the general Mommyhood life where you always forget things, I remembered this!! I am so amazed, proud and uplifted I have to step down off my cloud (hey every girl can have it once in her life) to get back to normal life! I knew it before, but this is why God called me to the medical field, because my muscle has memory. Even though I don't always think I can do something or am able or even equipped God wired me and He knows what I am capable of! He knew and knows what my muscle can do and in the Medical field your muscle MUST have memory. You have to be able to think on your feet and make hard decision under great stress, because someone in my particular case two peoples lives are in my hands and it is no time for forgetfulness. So God revealed to me in the way He always does a concrete reason for why I am on this journey. As a labor and delivery nurse or a Midwife I have to be able to recall tons of information and sometimes its in a dangerous situation. Thank you God for your wiring, thank you for your gift of life and thank you for allowing me to be a part of the greatest miracle granted to us on this Earth childbirth.
Do you know your muscle has memory? Ever recalled anything and you were just amazed that unutilized info was even in there? Tell me about it!

The Beginning

This is my first blog post ever!! Woohoo I did it! Now to keep it up! I have so many ideas of things I want to talk about and I can't wait to get started. 

Today is the realization of our first family let down of the summer. We had planned a trip to Disney World for us and the kids and of course Noni an Pop Pop. But as the dates get closer and closer too many things kept coming up forcing the idea that there could be no way to do it all. And after careful deliberation and budgeting we cancelled the trip. That was over a week ago, and yet today is the first day I'm starting to feel that let down. While I know we made the best decision, it just stinks to have to make it. The positive is the relief that the Hubs is feeling, not stressing about where every penny is going. Now to lay out our list for the remainder of the summer:

1. Get a new/used car for me

2. Missions Trip to El Salvador

3.Get the Munchkin ready for school

4. Kids birthday party

And that is just the beginning! Did you or have you ever had to make a decision that was bittersweet. It caused a let down and yet was also the best decision for our family?